Me, Myself, and I

some things people don't know about me:

1. im supposed to be writing a 2000 word essay on spina bifida for friday and i havnt even started yet - im writing this instead
2. my brother just came in and looked at this while i was out feeding the dogs - now hes going to tell my mom what im doing and il get in heaps of trouble, besides the fact that no-one i know is supposed to know this blog even exists
3. the thing i get most stressed out by is, in fact, my brother. i dont know what it is, but even just since he started at secondary school with me last year iv been getting more and more frequent headaches and sometimes i feel like his only purpose in life is to give me a nervous breakdown - i know brothers and sisters often dont get along, but this is worse than any other siblings i know - i sometimes even feel in physical pain from it
4. i cried myself to sleep over a boy last valentine's day - something i never in my life thought i would do. im just not that kind of person -well, apparently, i am
5. im writing a book - well, attempting to write one. its been in the process of being written for three or four years. i keep changing the plot - a little bit here, a little bit there. this summer i decided to try and do it properly. i started from the beginning and worked forward, instead of just writing the scenes i was interested in. i guess it's kind of working - i've written about one chapter, which is probably the largest whole part of it i've ever written. theres lots of differnet plot threads, but i think im finally beginning to settle down i write it properly - i hope!
6. the real reason i only got a B in science in the junior cert, instead of the A i expected: because in the middle of studying for it, i had the most brilliant idea for a story, and had to write it down - even thought it was only a page, it could have meant the difference between an A and a B. (i havent started writing this story yet - im making myself finish the other one first. but when i write it, it will end up being two stories, because i want to write the bit that comes after the page i wrote, but the way i wrote it demands the story that comes before it aswel)
7. when i was 5, i was really great friends with a guy called Gavin. i mean really great friends. one of the memories i have of us is me saying "we're getting married when we're grown up, arent we, Gavin?" but when i was about 6 he moved away, and except for a valentine's card that year, i never heard from him again. then about a year ago i stared really remembering him again. i really wanted to see him again, but i had no idea how to find him - i didnt even know his second name! i thought about him a lot, but never managed to do anything about it. but then, only a month ago, i got the best surprise of my life - somehow, he had found me on bebo! i couldnt believe it - after 10 years, we were finally talking again. he felt the same way i did about the long 10 years - he said "i really regret not keeping in contact..." - now that, from a guy, is commitment!
8. lastly, i tend to be quite a private person. when im upset, worried, frustrated, stressed, or any thing like that, i usually keep my feelings to myself. i dont know why this is, but i do it anyway. i try to work through things on my own. one of the only things that can truly calm me down when im stressed, worried or excited, is playing the piano. i wouldn't say im brilliant or anything, but i can play a bit and it calms me down. but i wont play in front of anyone. i wont even play if anyone else is in the house. even if theyre fast asleep or something. anyone except my brother, that is. for all that he drives me crazy, he's the only one that can be within earshot when im playing. hes the only one who wont make any comment about it or aknowledge that im playing at all. my parents would come in and say "how lovely!" or something, or they would comment on my "lovely" playing later on. but i prefer to play just for myself

so thats me. but as interesting as it was, im sure you all have better things to be doing...! as do i - like an essay on spina bifida!

see you!

xxx