The List Lady

the List Lady is back in action!!
i was kind of freaking out until yesterday because i'm going on holidays for two weeks this weekend and i had no lists, i wasn't prepared, i had nothing packed (as a matter of fact, i didn't actually have much that i could pack!). but then yesterday morning i bit the bullet, went downstairs and got an actual blank copybook to put all my packing lists in (i know. they call it obsessive or crazy. i call it organised:P ) and started my holiday lists. i am now hapily listified! but then again, i'm still unprepared and majorically (as my friend would say!) unpacked and i still need to get some stuff before i go! but at least with the lists, i feel more in control.......
i wanted to write about 'social class and being yourself'..... well. i'm not really sure where to start, but i know my opinions on this matter alright. in my school, you can very easily see the 'cliques' - well, in the girls at least. there are lines, and you know exactly where they are. it's a part boarding school, and the groups of girls go like this: me and my friends, the other day pupils, the boarders. maybe the boarders are split up, but it's definately not as 'straight and narrow' as the day puplis. but the thing is, we're not split up as if 'we hate each other' or 'we never talk to each other'. it's jsut the way we've happened, the two distinct groups. we might chat briefly once of twice, about trivial subjects usually, but most of the time we just keep with our own friends. a word of warning to any girl becoming a day pupil in my school in the same year as me: you don't have a choice who your friends are! if you are, without a doubt, one of those people who is immediatly classed as 'popular' - and we all know what that means, so don't try and pretend you don't - you go into the 'other' day pupils' group. if you're not, not matter how close or far you are from that 'status', you group with me and my friends. it doesn't matter if you're a hair's breadth away from them, or if you never have a chance - or the inclination - to be like them in the future, you still end up in our group. i think it's different with the guys in my year though, maybe because there's more of them or maybe because they're simply guys. there are more, smaller 'groups', but the lines are so blurred you can hardly see them, and the guys will basically get on with whover happens to be sitting next to them, boy or girl. which brings me to my next point, 'how much easier it is to talk to boys than girls'. now, before i begin, i should just breifly mention that my year in school seems to be considered the 'nicest'. i think that within the school, regardless of whatever i say here, it is the least concerned with social class. another good thing is that only a small handful of people smoke, and those that do don't brag about it because for once (!), in my year, it's not considered 'cool'. anyway. talking to guys. right. well, guys just don't really seem to care very much about social class, definitely not as much as girls anyway. i mean, they know about it, and they 'stick to the rules' in principal (god, girls really are bitches aren't they!), but i don't think they're really that bothered about it. take my trip to the outdoor education centre in october (see sometime in october (or i could have posted it in november!) '07) for example. the girls in my group were all pretty much from the same 'social group' (they were all from my group of friends, except for one boarder), but the guys were totally mixed - there could have been some of ever type there! but we all got on together. guys are so easy to talk to! take this for example: in the middle of the night, sitting around the campfire with a group of people we would never ever have mixed with before until 3 or 4 days ago, we started playing 'truth or dare'. since we were on our own in the middle or nowhere (and the two goodlooking guys had girlfriends!) there wasn't really any dares we could do, so after a few people pretending to sit on the fire for a while we ended up just playing 'truth'. but since the only really question you end up asking is 'who do you fancy?' we eventually went around in a circle saying who we fancied. yes. i know. who'd a thunk it? this is me we're talking about! but yes, i said it. a: it was a group of people i had never really spoken to and was unlikey to again, and b: they were guys. but thinking back just now, i don't think i would have said it if they were girls. i dunno, i would have bluffed out of it somehow... i have a reason for each group: if they were boarders - well, boarders can't keep anything quiet! and if they were the 'other' group of day puplis - well, my friend calls them 'the pussy patrol' for a reason. they pretend to be nice to you to your face, but to be honest, most of them are shite at it. AAAAAHH i actually hate them!! when i think of them i wat to punch something!!! i mean, there's one, maybe two, that are genuinely nice to you (or else they're just really good liers), but the others....!! sorry, little minor outbreak there...! but anyway, basically, guys are way easier to talk to than girls. i had more reasons/examples/whatever than this, but right now i can't really be bothered. i guess this would be a good time to mention the last (!) thing on my list. sssss it's like ripping off a bandaid, i just have to do it quickly and get it over with. well, iv'e never kissed anyone before. mever had a boyfriend. never been asked out. im nearly 17, for christ's sake!! i can legally have sex in a week and a half!!!!! kill me. Oh, and one more thing. for anyone that's wondering (and then again, i doubt anyone is), that guy i liked? i think i called him andrew or something? remember how i kind of practically loved him or something? (or thought i did, anyway!). the one i briefly mentioned at the end of my post about the brown-eyed guy at the lifeguard classes? well, then i said that i didn't know how i felt about him. i thought i was 'getting over him', but i didn't want to say it out loud, i don't think i could even say it here. well, i really don't now. it's just.... gone.
well, that's pretty much all i wanted to say. i'll see you on my birthday! and after that.... i don't know.
see you
xxx