Missing Midnight

ok, first off i'd like to say sorry, yes i know it's been two months, but get over it. this is me we're talking about.
secondly i'd like to tell you about the title of this post. when i came up with the title, i had just finished the first book in a series called 'Midnighters'. i had asked my mum to get me the next two books in the series, but she was only able to get the third one (she said she got it, even though she knew i didn't have the second one, just because....). Anyway, after seeing the sticker on the front that said 'Not suitable for young readers' in big purple writing, i kind of wanted the second book just a little bit more....!! excpet that i was going off to France the next day (and i wanted books to read on the trip!) so i couldn't go looking for it. i was also kind of nervous about going to France, as it was an exchange trip where i was staying with a french family and supposed to be speaking french all the time (and i really don't think i'm any good at french - i was really nervous!). Anyway, the whole thing was so messed up, i wanted to blog about it before i left, but i knew i wouldn't have time, so i just wrote it out to post at a later date. i still gave it the title 'Missing Midnight', even though the post had absolutely no relevance to the book issue. i should mention, before i post it, that no, i do not always refer to myself in the third person, but often when i'm writing something like that i write it as if it was happening to someone else (i think it's easier or something that way, easier to say it more truthfully or get more detail). i also think i do this because.... well, i won't say i want to be an author as such, but me dream is to get one book finished, and although i'm always coming up with new ideas, there's one i've been working on for a few years (don't look so surprised, you know the frequency of my posts here!) that i really want to finish.....
well anyway, here's 'Missing Midnight'

"She felt heavy and immoveable as she left so many things unfinished. She was never this disorganised. She felt so unlike herself, like there was someone else living in her body. This was not the kind of person she was. Sure, she still had the lists, but they weren't proper and she hadn't been really following them as they weren't really that informative. A week from today she would be an entirely different person. She had spent time away from her parents and other family before, of course, but this was different. Yes, it was only a longer time than the others by one measly day, and yes, it wasn't the first time she had been without her family to a country where she wasn't fluent in the language, but this time, she was on her own. Not only would she be both family- and friend-less in a household where people wouldn't be speaking English to her, but she and two of her friends would also be making the transition from one airport to another all on their own, without any kind of real adult supervision. Sure, she would be 17 in only a month and a half, but still, it scared her. Not being organised. That was her thing. Just like Chandler's was being funny and Ross' was getting divorced. She was always organised. Lists and double-check lists for everything, every single item down to the last tissue accounted for. But this time she was scared, and truth be told, it had been lurking in the not-so-distant back of her mind for a while now. She didn't feel ready. Well really, she didn't know if she would feel ready. She didn't know what she needed, she didn't know what she should bring 'just in case', at least half her stuff was not only still to be packed, but it was still to be decided on or even still to be thought about altogether. Just now, as she sat there, immobile, dreading the morning and not knowing what to do, she realised she was already forgetting her glasses. Now she was remembering that she and her friends didn't even really know any of the details regarding the flight they would be taking on their own. She felt like she wanted to cry. In fact, she didn't feel like she was directly upset about any one particular thing, she just felt scared and emotional. She wanted some time, just to be by herself, to cry. To play her sad music - not her all-out depressed music, but her upset and 'i want to cry' music. But she didn't know how. She didn't know how to relax. She didn't know how to be herself. She didn't know how to be real."

as you can see, i tend to - i don't know, overdramatise? - some things that maybe should be just writing sometimes
anyway, there are approximately 5 days that i can post between now and when i go to croatia in a week and a half. that's 5 posts. i promise! i'm making a written list, guessing it will be easier to stick to (!), of things that i am going to post about before i go.
so see you tomorrow!!
xxx